IN A DAZE...

The night is gone and after what feels like about 3 minutes of sleep I get up look out the window and see the start of a new day. Its now 6:23, Monday morning and I still have not seen nor talked to MRS. CURTIS L. MANN III, and at this point I have no choice but to believe what I’ve have been told. My head is throbbing, my heart is heavy, I can’t focus (I feel like I'm in a daze) and I don’t know where to begin, but after about an hour I get up make a call to the office and tell them that I won’t be in for a couple of days and to have any IMPORTANT calls forwarded to my cell phone - even though I know I won't answer. I go online to Google and type in ‘paternity test’, I scroll down to the 3rd link (click on it) and begin to read, after I finish reality starts to set in and I ask myself, “Is this really happening to ME!?!” I can’t believe I’m sitting at home looking up information on paternity testing - needless to say I scheduled a test for later this week. No matter what the outcome (deep sigh) I know I will never be TRULY happy in this marriage, but can I truly divorce this woman or seperate from her? She is my joy, the woman who I changed my life for, the mother of my children*, and the woman with whom I stood before my family & friends and made a vow before God to be with “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…" I MEAN I KNOW PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES, BUT AM I A FOOL IF I TRY TO MAKE IT WORK AND STAY WITH HER? I LOVE HER...